I will sit and let the words flow from my mind to my fingers to your eyes and I hope into your mind.  On my day off I dream of far away places and close places.  I dream of far away people and people who are not so far away.  I find the ups and downs of life so interesting, the way the little things can bring you high and sometimes throw you down. 

In a temporary location I try to fill every minute with learning and doing.  I try not to let myself think too much because thinking leads to everywhere above and below the normal range of my emotions. 

Yet today I feel at peace with things.  Something has calmed me today, and I am not sure exactly what.  Perhaps it is some news or having some time to myself. 

I am somehow waiting but it is a positive thing.  I never considered waiting to be a positive thing.  I think I will now float along in my peaceful existence for today.  Perhaps I should go to the seaside, afterall.

? was recently speaking with one of my co-workers about love and marriage. This woman is about 20 or 30 years older than ?, and she lives a very Christian life. ? guess that could be defined in many ways. As a child of divorce ? have often wondered how people make any marriage work. How can you stand someones bullshit for that long. This woman puts faith in God, that God will change the hearts of either her or her husband in order to make things right. That sounds like a good method to me, but what about those who are not religious? What do you put your faith in? You put your faith in something or someone, and that comes out alright? Marriage… is it natural or unnatural?

? believe this goes against everything ? said about being selfish or selfless… maybe there is a difference between living your life for yourself and being in true, real love.

What are your thoughts, boys?

Oh and yes everyone can use my real name which is Stephanie

Dissecting life and what ? am doing. ? just read something about the selfless and the selfish people in our world. As a result ? have decided against selflessness. ? have made a discovery about the second-hand lives we lead… lives for other people, through other people. Who am ? if ? am not living for myself, if ? am not doing what ? want above all things? Who am ? if ? sacrifice myself for something that is not me? Living a selfless life is the easy way out. Take some time, dig deep, and try to understand the ego, the me. Easier said than done…. but it is the only path to happiness.

One final question… does everyone already know this and am ? just naive in my youth? Clearly not everyone knows it, but what about you?