The Angry Jew

The rantings of an Angry Jew in The Pacific Northwest

Yesterday, the FDA declared that cloned animals are safe for the human food supply.  Further, they stated that they believe that no special labels are needed for food from clones or their offspring. 

WOW, it seems like only yesterday that I figured out how to program the timer on my VCR and now Im eating clones.  Oh, wait a minute, that was yesterday.  Damn our world moves fast.

The science of cloneing went from science fiction to science fact on July 5th 1996 with the birth of Dolly, the cloned sheep.  The world rejoiced.  In 2003, Dolly was euthanized after a veterinary examination showed that she had a progressive lung disease common in much older sheep.  So if someone in Scotland had lamb chops after Dolly was put down, that means we have had three whole years to study the "long term effects" of eating cloned meat.  Anyone else a little nervous?

Now its not that I dont trust the folks at the FDA.  After all, they are the ones who gave us Vioxx, Thalidimide, and DDT.  All perfectly safe.  I guess I just dont see the rush.  Why not serve this stuff in goverment lunch rooms for a few years, with a side order of Freedom Fries, and see what happens.  Im sure our Gentleman Rancher President would be happy to dine on Fillet of Clone for the good of our nation.

I dont want anyone to think I’m anti-science.  I can understand the point of view of those in the buisness of agriculture.  By cloneing geneticly superior bloodlines, an entire herd of Grade A beef can be had, without all that messy artificial insemination used by those low-tech, old fashioned ranchers.  Besides, ever try to get a bull sperm stain out of a lab coat?  Forget about it.

I’ve got my plan ready to go.  See, Im going to buy a ranch in Montana, stock it with some Angus Cattle, breed them the old fashioned way and wait about ten years.  Im going to make millions.  You know why?

Because two headed kids are going to eat a LOT of burgers.