The Angry Jew

The rantings of an Angry Jew in The Pacific Northwest

The National Science Foundation has a sticky situation on their hands.

In a Washington Post article published on Tuesday, it was reported that the taxpayer funded, private watch dog for fraud in the issuance of government research grants is going to have to scale back their investigations.

Why you ask?

It seems they are spending more then they expected investigating misconduct among their own employees.

According to documents obtained by The Post, the number of cases of employee misconduct investigated jumped from three in 2006 to ten in 2008, and of those ten, seven involved…

Anyone? Anyone?

Yup, employees using government computers to surf for PORN.

In the most striking case, an investigation revealed that an senior executive had spent 331 days either looking at porn or chatting online with naked or near nude women.  Among the excuses this putz offered was that he was helping to provide a living to the young woman in the “poor” countries on the sites he viewed.

And a damned good living too, as the estimated cost to you and me ran somewhere in the $50,000 range.

Now of course this ass hat was thrown in jail for wasting our precious cash…opps..wait a second..took a little mental trip to “Fantasy Land” there for a second…he was allowed to retire.

So, the government agency charged with making sure that public money allocated to see whether or not wind turbines interfere with gay ground hogs is spending so much money making sure IT’S employees are not jerking their gherkins on the public nickel, that they cant police the people who are supposed to be watching the ground hogs.

And you are wondering why we can’t get affordable health care in this country?

There was no mention in the article as to whether or not the executive was forced to pay the cost of replacing the carpet and desk in his office.

And you thought finding chewing gum under your desk was bad.

and Bill Gates wants to send you a free XBox, and a Nigerian government minsiter has picked you at random to help him get millions of dollars out of his country, and an African plant root will make my penis ginormous.

It must be true, right?

After all, I got it in an email.

Normally I find the stupidity of the average American endlessly entertaining.  How can you not help but laugh at those who loose their life savings because they responded to an email or phone solicitation.  There is nothing like greed to overcome common sense and those who give into it deserve precisely what they get.

So it was with amusement that I reviewed an email sent to me by a concerned coworker, John.

The email ranted about the absolute proof that the Obama administration is after our guns.

It pointed to two bills before congress that will virtually render the 2nd Amendment null and void.

The first, SB 2009, the email claims ,will require gun owners to list each of their firearms on their 2009 tax and submit a fingerprint card and pay a $50.00 tax per weapon.

Senate Bill SB-2099 will require us to put on our 2009 1040 federal tax form all guns that you have or own. It will require fingerprints and a tax of $50 per gun.This bill was introduced on Feb.. 24, 2009, by the Omama staff.  BUT . .  this bill will only become public knowledge 30 days after the new law becomes effective This is an amendment to the Internal Revenue Act o f 1986.  This means that the Finance Committee has passed this without the Senate voting on it at all.

The second, HR 45, will make it illegal to own a firearm unless;

-It is registered -You are fingerprinted -You supply a current Driver’s License -You supply your Social Security # -You will submit to a physical & mental evaluation at any time of their choosing -Each update - change or ownership through private or public sale must be reported and costs $25 - Failure to do so you automatically lose the right to own a firearm and are subject up to a year in jail. -There is a child provision clause on page 16 section 305 stating a child-access provision. Gun must be locked and inaccessible to any child under 18. -They would have the right to come and inspect that you are storing your gun safely away from accessibility to children and fine is punishable for up to 5 yrs. in prison.

What the hell?

I own several assault rifles and more then a few pistols, we can’t let this happen, this madness must be stopped….let me jump on the bandwagon here and forward this to every gun owner I know before it is too late, let me just look these bills up so i can quote the exact language and make a logical argument against these draconian measures.

Lets see, HR 45…according to non partisan FactCheck.org;

H.R. 45 would – if enacted – require a federal license to own “any handgun” or “any semiautomatic firearm that can accept any detachable ammunition feeding device.”

It has a single sponsor, Democratic Rep. Bobby Rush of Chicago. It was introduced on the first day of the new Congress, and on Feb. 9 it was referred to subcommittee as a routine matter. As of Feb. 20, it was still sitting there with no action scheduled.

That’s the way the vast majority of bills die – and the way this same legislation died last year after Rush introduced it in the previous Congress.

Lawmakers often introduce bills to make a political statement, frequently for home consumption. But few such measures have much hope of getting serious consideration, let alone passage. Rush, for example, has sponsored a total of 75 bills since he first came to the House in 1993, according to the nonpartisan site GovTrack.us. But only five of those bills have been enacted into law. Nearly 90 percent of them – a total of 66 bills – did not make their way out of committee.

Rush introduced this same legislation in June 2007, as H.R. 2666. When Congress adjourned last year that bill died quietly in the House Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism, and Homeland Security, the same subcommittee where H.R. 45 now resides. It did eventually attract 16 other House sponsors, but by the time Congress adjourned last year, H.R. 2666 had not received a formal hearing, and it never came to a vote even in subcommittee.

Hmm…OK….but  SB 2009 is still there to make owning a gun next to impossible

again, back to FactCheck;

S. 2099 (not “SB” 2099) was introduced Feb. 24, 2000, by Democratic Sen. Jack Reed of Rhode Island. He called it the “Handgun Safety and Registration Act of 2000,” and as the title implies it would have applied only to handguns, not to “all guns you have or own.”

It’s true that the bill would have required owners of handguns to register them with the federal government within one year, under the 1934 National Firearms Act (which is part of the Internal Revenue Code). That law requires a federal permit to own a machine gun, a sawed-off rifle or shotgun, or a silencer. Reed said in a news release that in practical terms, handgun owners would need to fill out a registration form, get fingerprinted by local law enforcement officials and obtain a local “Law Enforcement Certification.” These would be sent to the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms, along with a recent photo (2 inches by 2 inches) and a $5 registration fee.

The bill was referred to the Senate Finance Committee, and it eventually attracted two cosponsors. But when the 106th Congress adjourned at the end of 2000, the bill died without getting so much as a subcommittee hearing, let alone a vote. Reed has not reintroduced the bill since then.

Hmmm..OK…Opps…sorry…didn’t mean to get everyone all excited.

Now I don’t know, or really care whether this email was started by right wingers trying to slander the current administration or by some practical joker trying to see how many rednecks he could get to run for their “doomsday” shelters, the fact remains. just because you read it in an email DOES NOT make it true.

I am attaching a copy of this piece to the email and using reply all…stay tuned for the fireworks.

OK, I get it.

The planet is in rough shape and we all have to do our part to help out Mother Earth.

You want me to curtail my driving and buy a more fuel efficient car?  Fine.  When my pick up dies I will look into it.

You want to ban good old fashioned Edison light bulbs for compact fluorescents?  Fine.  I can deal with that, no skin off my ass.

You want manufacturers to stop using clam shell packaging and switch to more environmentally friendly ways of shipping and displaying their goods?  Fine.  Those things were a pain in the butt to open anyway.

But now the environmental lobby has gone too far and I am drawing a LINE IN THE SAND.

You want to take away my soft, fluffy two ply toilet paper?

GET BENT!

Thats right friends, those fine tree huggers with too much time on their hands have decided that all the really important issues have been dealt with, so now it is time to take on the toilet tissue industry.

A front page story in The Sunday Oregonion layed it all out.  If you missed it, here is another from Fox News.

Is there no real news to report on ANYMORE?

According to the bunny huggers, my three ply, pillow soft Charmin is made by grinding up old growth trees for their virgin fibers.  They would have us switch to one ply, with a high recycled fiber content, just like the folks in Europe do…and I used to wonder why Europeans always seemed to be so cranky.

Its not like logging for TP is killing our planet.

Toilet and facial tissue make up 5% of all timber harvested.  By comparison, paper and cardboard make up 26%, newsprint…3%.

The environmentalists claim that this is an undignified end for old growth trees and that the harvesting of the timber to wipe my ass removes precious CO2 scrubbing capacity from our forests, as well as endangering wildlife habitats.

I am OK with that.

Listen, saving the planet is a fine and wonderful thing.  Go build wind turbines in your backyard.  Compost your kids dead hamsters.  Recycle medical waste into art projects.  Have at it.  I won’t stop you.

But doing away with plush toilet paper is just going too damn far.

Don’t you people have better things to do with your time?

I dont really care if they get their hemp panties in a bunch, and if they want to clean up with an handful of sticks and leaves, hell, have at it.  Lets go peak in their bathrooms and see what they are using.

Me, I will start growing my own virgin timber if I have to, but I am keeping my soft, plush ass wipe.

A few days ago I received a comment from a reader who goes only by the rather mysterious handle of “X”.
“X” wrote in to take exception with my story “For Gods Sake, We Have To Protect The Children” from back in February of 2008.

The story dealt with the decision by Sherwood Middle School Principal Anna Pittioni to cancel the performance of a play, “Higher Ground”, which dealt in a frank manner with the topic of school yard bullying and discrimination.  Her decision resulted in huge amounts of publicity for the play and it’s author, teacher Jenny Brown, and resulted in the play being performed off campus to large audiences and excellent reviews.

Her is what X had to say;

Do you people know what its like? I know Mrs. P, as i know her daughter. do you know how stupid you guys are being? it was a PLAY. I, for one, have seen how it has affected her daughter. Just make hell for everyone else. and their kids. and the rest of their family.

Shame on you

Oh, where to begin.

Since when is voicing an opinion stupid?  I, as did many others, felt and still feel that “Mrs P” made a bad call by caving in to a vocal minority.  Having both read the script and later seeing it performed, I feel strongly that it did an excellent job of dealing with a very real problem facing young people, including “Mrs P”’s own daughter.

As to any resulting fall out from her decision to cancel the play, well, she made her choices.  Do not blame me for them.

She chose to ignore the script until just days before the scheduled performance.  The parents choose to sign the permission slips without investigating the content of the material to be performed.  To my way of thinking.  “Mrs P” was negligent in her duties to both the parents and students.

Lastly, the story is more almost two years old.  Other then an update on Jenny Browns career, I have not said anything about since, yet somehow, you felt it necessary to reopen an old wound.

I am sure “Mrs P” appreciates your bringing the story once again to the forefront as a very good example of very bad decision making.

My Friday gift to you my friends is this interview with former Illinois Governor Rob Blagojevich who stands accused of trying to sell President Obama’s Senate seat for financial gain.

In this extended interview with Jon Stewart, Blago urges us all to pressure the Prosecutor to release the tapes so that we can hear him try to swap the seat for jobs, health care and no new taxes for the good people of Illinois.

For the love of all that is holy…do not drink anything while watching part three of the interview, I will not replace your monitor.

Lots of naughty language, so break out the headphones if you are at work.

On a few occasions I have spoken of a gentleman by the name of Harris Zafar.

I first heard of Harris last year when I wrote a piece called “The Real Islam”.  The basis was an Op/Ed piece in The Oregonian regarding the case of a British teacher in Sudan who was sentenced to 40 lashes, and later pardoned, for allowing her students to name a Teddy Bear Muhammad.

He wrote far more eloquently then I could on the perversion of Islamic law and fanaticism.

Since then I have had the opportunity to meet this gifted writer and remarkable young man, I have visited his Mosque here in Portland, and learned from him meaning of true Islam.

I take great pleasure in sharing with you all his latest achievements as both a feature writer for Examiner.com and for his recent Op/Ed piece that was published by USA Today.

If you have any interest in knowing what true Islam is all about, I highly recommend you follow his works.

Congratulation Harris.

Has it gone into hiding?

Has it ever existed?

Is it merely a matter on interpretation?

Am I just too simple a human being to believe in it?

Lets face facts here, in the modern age, truth had become a victim of expediency.  If the truth is inconvenient, we deny its existence.  The phrase “We May Never Know The Truth Of what Occurred” is now the rule rather then the exception.

In 1997, the heads of the 5 major tobacco companies took an oath before God and swore to tell the truth.

When they were asked if they believed nicotine was addictive they responded;

Mr. JOSEPH TADDEO (United States Tobacco): I don’t believe that nicotine or our products are addictive.

Mr. ANDREW TISCH (Lorillard Tobacco): I believe nicotine is not addictive.

Mr. EDWARD HORRIGAN (Liggett Group): I believe that nicotine is not addictive.

Mr. THOMAS SANDEFUR (Brown And Williamson): I believe that nicotine is not addictive.

Mr. DONALD JOHNSTON (American Tobacco): And I, too, believe that nicotine is not addictive.

Is this truth?

As recently as last week, when confronted with video evidence that their employees would willingly aid a supposed pimp and prostitute in setting up a bordello for teen prostitutes, the national director, Bertha Lewis, in response to the congressional vote to eliminate funding for the organization released a statement to the press.

“We’re disappointed that the House took the rare and politically convenient step of attempting to eliminate federal funding for a single organization, one that has been the target of a multi-year political assault stemming variously from the Bush White House, Fox News, and other conservative quarters.

Fortunately, ACORN derives most of its income from its members and other supporters, so the decision will have little impact on overall operations.  The only real victims of today’s vote are the families who have benefited from ACORN’s important work.”

Is this truth?

If the truth is so readily available, so wide spread by mass media and the internet, why do web sites like fact check.org even exist?  Why does the second page of my daily paper contain an article titled “FACTCHECK: Your Report Card On Accountability”, where the news of the day is dissected and inaccuracies are revealed and debated at length.  Who is checking their facts?

Is the truth so scary that our leaders feel they must protect us from it or do they just feel it gets in the way of accomplishing their own agendas.  When a Governor decides to hike the Venezuelan Trail and we don’t run him out of town on a rail, who’s to blame?

The fact is, Corporate America, Government and the guy selling knock off Gucci Bags all have one thing in common;

THEY ARE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE WE ALLOW THEN TO DO SO

We are to blame for not calling for accountability

We are to blame for not calling BULLSHIT when an oil company executive cries poor after posting record profits.

We are to blame every time a politician tells us that God has forgiven him for taking that graft or getting caught with his dick out.

As long as we continue to accept this crap as “Truth”, as long as we fail in our duty to hold those who abuse it accountable, as long as we are able to go about our days more interested in American Idol then Meet The Press, we are going to continue to be lied to.

I’m not much of a fan.

Celebrities, sports, music…I just have never been that much into it.

In my youth, I was like most teenagers, mooning over Farrah, imagining myself flying with Pappy (Robert Conrad) Boyington to wipe the “Dirty Nips” from the skies over the Pacific with the Black Sheep Squadron,  feeling that Led Zeppelin was speaking directly to me.

But the day came when I was no longer a child and had to give up childish things.

I guess my lack of fanaticism can also be explained by one of the same reasons I never really “got” organized religion.

Bottom line…I lack faith.

Well this year, I decided to give it a try.

You see, The Secret Alien is a Dallas Cowboys fan…and not just some fair weather “Americas Team” fan either.  He is hardcore when it comes to “The Boys”.  So was The X.

He suffered many through many a Monday morning the last few years at my hands over the last few years, Dallas has been rebuilding from it’s decline from America’s Team to where they ended last season.

“What happened to your “Boys” last night?”,  I would ask teasingly after reading a scathing review of their performance, or lack of, in the Monday sports section.  His responses would have been unprintable in a family medium.

Don’t get me wrong, I like Football, but more as a social event then a vocation, much in the same way I love Baseball movies and going to PGE park to watch our AAA team play, but can’t bring myself to watch it on TV.  The X and I used to host killer Sunday Football Brunches and threw one hell of a Super Bowl Party.

Well, this year I decided to give it a try.

I promised The Secret Alien that this year I would be a Cowboys Fan.  I would follow the team and root for them come hell or high water.

I followed the reports from the training camps and pre-season.  I have been questioning The Secret Alien on the nuances of the game.  We have spent long hours in on line chats as he guided me through his team and their history.

When the first televised game of the season came on last night, I was ready.  The spicy chicken wings had been in the smoker since 2.  At 4, I was in my easy chair, the pregame show blaring.  I even managed to out fan The Secret Alien by having my computer set up on NBC Sports.com for their online “Sunday Night Football Extra”. which  would provide me with an additional 4 cameras of HD game coverage that I could control as well as my own instant replay controls.

The View From My Easy Chair

Let me give any budding Super Fans out there a clue about this.

IT SUCKS.

It runs about 5 minutes behind the televised game and was constantly freezing up whenever I changed camera angles.  The commercials that ran every five minutes steamed perfectly, however.

NBC, you have 2 weeks to get your shit together before the “Boys” play the Cardinals on your station again.  I want it in real time and I want it smooth.  I am a fan goddamit!!!

But I digress.

Cold beer in hand, I watched the opening kick off as I chatted online with The Secret Alien.  Isn’t technology wonderful?

Within the first two drives, The NY Giants had scored the first points ever in Cowboy Stadium.

OUCH.

Try as they might, the Giants could not stop Dallas’ rushing game, however, Tony Romo was being pretty generous to them.  He threw three interceptions.

It all came down to a last minute, nail biter of a climax, in which Eli Manning proved he was earning all that cash New York was paying him as he led the Giants to within Field Goal range.  A field goal that had to be kicked twice, thanks to a last second time out called by Cowboys Coach Wade Philips.

In the end, The Cowboys were handed a 31-33 defeat in the opening day in their new house.

I am disappointed, but not discouraged.

We are 1-1 and have the whole season ahead of us.  If the “Boys” can get a handle on the turnovers, we will be unstoppable.

Trust me, I am a fan.

How Portland?

How did Iowa City beat us to this?

Are we doing this?  When did it start?  Why wasn’t I invited?

We need this Portland, Think of all the good we can do, the fun we could have, the BRAINS we could eat.


Watch CBS Videos Online


Government officials in Nigeria are asking movie houses throughout the country to stop showing the summer sci-fi blockbuster “District 9″.

Information Minister Dora Akunyili has asked movie houses in the capital of to stop screening “District 9″ because the South Africa based sci-fi movie about aliens and discrimination makes Nigerians look bad.

“We have directed that they should stop public screening of the film,” she said. “We are not happy about it because it portrays Nigeria in bad light.”

“We have written to the producer and distributor of the film, Sony Entertainment, expressing our displeasure and demanded an apology,” she said. “We have asked that the areas where Nigeria and Obasanjo are mentioned should be edited from the film.”

Sony reponded that they will not do so for reasons of artistic integrity but have made a counter offer.

Sony Pictures has announced that they will begin production of a yet untitled project this winter that will tell the uplifting tale of young Nigerian internet scammer who raises himself to the office of President, only to be deposed when he can not find someone to help him move his predecessors assets out of the country.