Saturday was a lazy day, with no real plan save one, I was going to investigate what it would take to brew my own beer.
It all started innocently enough. One of my coworkers, Doyle, is well renowned for his home brewed beer. I jokingly asked when we were going to get together and drink some of his delicious product. He replied to me that he had not brewed in a while. Sad, but then he hit me with an idea that had not occurred to me.
“Why dont you brew your own beer?”, he asked.
Why indeed.
I had brewed at home once before, using one of those plastic keg kits that guys receive for Fathers Day, but the results were pretty poor. A few years later, I brewed again, at Missoula Montana’s own Kettle House, a “you brew” place were you boil your own wort, ferment it in their tanks, then come back and bottle it. At the time, I have to admit, I was paying more attention to the free samples of their tasty creations then I was to the ingredients and processes used.
So why not brew my own?
Doyle turned me onto Let’s Brew in SE Portland. A small, but extremely well stocked brewvana of a place. When you walk in the door the first thing that hits you is the wonderful aroma of boiling wort. That hoppy, yeasty smell that always takes me back to my childhood, where I lived in the aromatic shadow of a Budweiser brewery.
I spoke with Kim, who owns the shop with her husband, and got the low down on what it takes to brew at home. I decided to take one of their hands on classes during which I will brew 15 gallons of my very own beer. I walked out clutching the home brewers bible, The Complete Joy Of Home Brewing 3rd Edition, and excited by what may come on my September 12th brew date.
Well i wanted to study up so I would have a better understanding of what to expect when I brewed, so I decided to stop on the way home for lunch, and what better place to start investigating the world of brewing then at a brewpub.
Hopworks is a newer entry into the world of Portland Brewpubs, having been around for a little over a year. They have earned a reputation for high quality beers and pretty good food. I took a few minutes to look over the beer menu before deciding on their seasonal Ace of Spades Double IPA.
This beer is a dry hopped monster of an IPA that sizzles the tongue and pickles the brain, it comes in at 9.2% alcohol, yet is very smooth with high drinkability. In a word, tasty.
And so was the burger I ordered to go with it. A monster of a burger that was cooked just the way I ordered it, medium, and came with a side of some pretty darned tasty home made fries.
The two went great together and I really tried to get some studying done as I ate, but lets be honest, could you study with this pleasant distraction..
The pretty lady in the bad picture, my fault, is Bethany, my beer mistress and guide for my stay at Hopworks. Bethany is a true Renaissance Woman in the Portland sense of the word. Note only is she the day shift beertender, but she is also an artist, some of her works are on display in the restaurant, and she plays keyboards and accordion in a glam rock band named Sophelux which SPIN magazine described as..
“The band’s tumbling melodies, trippy lyrics, eclectic instrumental arrangements, and all-out pageantry have dazzled. Sophe Lux blends elements of the Dresden Dolls, Queen, a French opera, Ella Fitzgerald, and, yes, Dante to achieve some awesomely bizarre, dark and sweet soundscapes.”
It’s pretty good stuff actually and well worth a listen.
And so came to pass the end of my days exploration into the world of beer. The 9.2% IPA kicked my ass and I headed off for home.
My brewing appointment is on September 12 and it “should’ be available for sampleing about three or four weeks after that.
I just wanted to publicly thank you for you graciousness and hospitality on Sunday. You went way over the top and proved that the art of customer service is not dead. You will be seeing us again soon, I promise.
…and no, the rest of you are not supposed to understand.
i have never had the opportunity to raise a small child, so maybe I’m talking out of my ass, so to speak, here, but when did it become OK to monopolize a public restroom stall to toilet train your kids.
My local Sunday morning diner has but one stall in the men’s room. After my weekly intake of grease, carbs and cholesterol I frequently have to make use of it. What can I say, their coffee just gets all parts of me moving.
Well this morning, after I had finished my breakfast and was polishing off the last of my coffee along with the funnies, I felt that familiar rumble announcing that my colon had finally awakened from it’s nights slumber.
When I arrived at the facility, their were not one but two pairs of legs visible under the door.
This is, no shit, pardon the pun, what I heard as I stood there valiantly trying to to keep the turtle from poking his head out;
Father: OK, we have a long ride to Grandma’s, so I want you to go now.
Son: But I don’t have to go.
At this point I uttered a small cough, just to let Dad know someone was waiting.
Father: Just be a big boy and go…we don’t want to have to stop.
Son: I won’t have to go Dad, I promise.
Father: Come on now son, I just want you to go like a big boy now.
OK, at this point I was ready to scream “If the kid doesn’t have to go, he doesn’t have to go. I do have to go and the situation is getting critical here.” Then I heard Dad utter the words that had me ready to kick in the door.
Father: Well, you can just sit there all day until you go because I am not stopping until we get to grandma’s house.
Uh, no you can’t.
Hello.
People waiting.
So, what exactly is the etiquette here?
I cleared my throat loudly, in hopes that Dad might recognize the fact that others were waiting and give up his pursuit of the elusive poo. It was however, not to be. Dad simply continued to attempt to cajole a turd from his offspring.
Well, that was enough for me.
I headed out, dropped the money to cover my check on the table and beat feet for home, all the while cursing the fact that I did not know which car belonged to Dad.
I would have been happy to drop trou in his back seat and leave him a reminder that it’s not nice to make people wait.
Back in the day, I smoked a lot of pot, and I mean…A LOT!!!
Those days are behind me know, I have managed to resist the temptation of sweet, sweet cannabis and instead pursue my intoxication through fine beers and liquors.
If a new study, released recently from The University of Southern California in San Diego is to be believed, smoking pot may protect your brain from the ravages of alcohol.
In the study, researches did brain scans of binge drinking college age students and found, to their surprise, that students who did not smoke pot suffered more brain damage from their binges then students who toked up on a regular basis.
Brain white matter tracts were “more coherent in adolescents who binge drink and use marijuana than in adolescents who report only binge drinking,” the researchers wrote.
“It is possible that marijuana may have some neuroprotective properties in mitigating alcohol-related oxidative stress or excitotoxic cell death,” as has already been shown in lab and animal studies.
So maybe all those night doing bong rips, watching Heavy Metal and cleaning out the refrigerator did me some good after all.
REFERENCE: Jacobus, J. et al. “White matter integrity in adolescents with histories of marijuana use and binge drinking.” Neurotoxicology and Teratology. dx.doi.org/10.1016/j.ntt.2009.07.006
Here at Angry Jew World Domination HQ, we firmly believe in being prepared for the upcoming zombie apocalypse.
Here in the bunker we are stocked up on all items that make a hard day of Zombie slaying tolerable.
Guns, lots of ammo, machetes and of course, bacon.
That’s right friends, bacon.
I mean lets face it, all things, including slaying the undead are better with bacon, and now, thanks to the fine folks at Cmmg and ThinkGeek.com, you to can stock your shelter with this fine swine. I give you…
TACTICAL BACON
Thats right, bacon in a can with a 10 year shelf life…what more can you ask for.
I will be ordering a can here in a bit and will share with you the results of my own Angry Jew taste test.
I met somebody on Facebook a few months back, a friend of a friend. An outrageous sense of humor, an engaging sense of humor and an off the chart hotness factor… the total package.
The thing she failed to mention in our conversations is she is also hugely freaking talented.
No, they did not start giving us bagel breaks at work, although it’s not a bad idea, just in case anybody is wondering, but…well…let me begin at the beginning.
Last weekend I had the opportunity to share the movie Goodfellas with The Mad Greek. Shocking, I know, how can anyone not have had an opportunity to enjoy this classic, but hey, some of us have led sheltered lives.
Anyway, we get to the part where Ray Leotta leads Lorraine Bracco through the bowels of the Copacabana Club, you know, that great following shot without a single edit, that takes them from the street outside, through the kitchen and onto the nightclub floor. Outstanding filmmaking.
OK, so I make the comment “It sucks that there are no clubs like that anymore.”
You see, I am a huge fan of The Rat Pack.
Frank, Dean, Sammy…they made the fifties swing, they invented cool. I would give anything to be be able to travel back in time and see the show they did at the Sands hotel while they were filming Oceans 11.
AND NOW I CAN
Sort Of.
I open the paper today and learn there is an old fashioned 50’s style supper club right here in Portland’s Hollywood district…Tony Starlight’s Supperclub and Lounge.
Down to the authentic decor and entertainment…It is the perfect place for me to live out my Rat Pack Fantasy.
I would love to get together a group in 50’s retro garb and head out for a night of music, food and drinks.
Check out the clubs website and this great rendition of the Sinatra classic “One For The Road” by Mr Tony Starlight himself, and let me know what you think.
Oh, and if any of you out there have heard of this place before, or worse, been there, and not told me about it, well, you had just better keep it to yourselves.
On Sunday I was intrigued by an article in the paper about “Robo Garages”.
It seems that several local real estate developers are looking into installing the automated garages that have become all the rage in Asia and Europe. I mean on the surface it seems like a good idea. They use space far more efficiently then a normal parking structure, allowing a space that may allow for parking for 29 cars in a space that would conventionally hold 10.
Check out this very cool promotional video for The 20 on Hawthorne, an upscale apartment complex that has installed one of these automated wonders.
I just have one question, how do I get my car when the power goes out?
To all my readers out there who’s last names are Mc something or other, please know I do not hold you responsible for the outrage committed by Scotland’s First Minister, Alex Salmond.
Last week, the Scottish government announced that it would release the man responsible for the bombing of Pan Am Flight 103, Abdel Baset al-Megrahi, a Libyan convicted of killing 270 people. He was released Thursday because he is terminally ill with prostate cancer. He has returned to his native Libya to die.
Now, the Scottish government has said the release was made for “compassionate” reasons. First Minister Salmond has been quoted as saying;
“No one I think seriously believes we made any other decision except for the right reasons, I think it was the right decision. I also absolutely know it was for the right reasons.”
Of course, no one is sure if it was done in the name of compassion or so the Scottish government can gain great access to Libyan gas and oil.
In either case, the release of this animal should serve as a lesson to most of us and that is Governments do what is in THEIR best interests, not their citizens.
What kind of compassion did al-Megrahi show his victims, who dies between heartbeats, thousands of feet over Lockerbie? The only people who should have any say over where he was to die should have been the victims families. If they decided that he should be allowed to return to his native land, where he was greeted by a hero’s welcome no less, then so be it.
Were they consulted?
I think not.
The governments only role in decided on this monsters release should have been to count the votes.
I am sorry if people of Scotland feel the rest of the world should stop meddling in it’s internal affairs, and if all the victims had been Scottish nationals, they might even be right, but they were not. The victims came from 21 countries, 180 of whom were American citizens. In point of fact, the only Scottish nationals killed were the 11 residents of Lockerbie killed when the shattered plane crashed to earth.
The right decision?
No Mr. Salmond. The right decision would have been to keep this animal locked up in Scotland, receiving the finest medical treatment available, then leave it up to the families of the victims to decide whether or not he would receive any pain medication.
