I have written a few times here about Brother John. He is the brother I would have had if my mother had slept around with the right men.
Brother John and I have a unique relationship. We met in our mid twenties and have maintained a long distance relationship consisting mainly of drunken late night phone calls covering everything from our varied relationships with the fairer sex to James Bond trivia questions.
Now Brother John has my dream job. He works in the film industry. Modesty forbids me from reminding him I got him his very first job oh so many years ago as a lowly Production Assistant. He has now graduated to doing product placement for liquor companies. That’s right, the lucky bastard makes a living getting film and TV productions to place his clients products on their sets. Of course the added benefit is that he gets to sample all of the liquor companies newest products, and it was through him I became acquainted with Crystal Head Vodka and lost my love of actor Dan Akroyd.
The other night we were talking and he asks me to go to website, Crystalheadvodka.com, and watch a video.
How cool is this. Dan Akroyd, actor, musician and paranormal investigator creates a vodka, packaged in mystical glass skull and filtered through diamonds, what more could a lush like me ask for?
Wait a second, I ask. Herkimer Diamonds? Where have I heard that before?
A quick Google search gave me my answer.
Herkimer diamonds are a diamond looking crystal mined in Herkimer County New York. They are only a 7.5 on the hardness scale, diamonds rate a 10.
OK, so filtering the vodka through “diamonds” is a marketing gimmick, that’s OK. I love good marketing. I was still gaga about trying the vodka, after all, here is Dan Akroyd, someone I have admired since back in the “Not Ready for Prime Time Players” days, someone putting his belief in the paranormal out there, despite the potential of ridicule, and on a product that is supposed to be the finest, purest interpretation of the distillers art.
Sign me up.
Then I found this video of Dan promoting his new vodka on YouTube.
Just another business man, pimping his product and selling out his reputation to make a buck. Is it just me or is he wasted out of his gourd?
Is the vodka at least any good?
I’ll probably get a bottle to try it out, I have Liquor Store Grant on the case as we speak, but the thrill is gone. He’s probably getting a few bucks from Spielberg and Lucas for the Indiana Jones tie in and I would not be surprised to learn it is part of promoting his latest film venture.
Today’s Oregonian Metro section gave me something to ponder.
It carries the story of a woman upset with the punishment meted out by TriMet, our local mass transit authority, to the owner of a 50lb rottweiler whose dog killed her 7 lb Pomeranian service dog on a TriMet bus yesterday.
I will say that again….
7lb Pomeranian SERVICE dog.
OK, I understand the concept of service dogs. Seeing eye dogs for the blind, companion dogs that go to hospitals to visit sick kids, they even have dogs that are trained to warn their owners when they sense an oncoming epileptic seizure.
So, what kind of service does a Pomeranian provide?
Besides shaking, peeing, and annoying the people around it.
According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, a service animal can be “any guide dog, signal dog or other animal individually trained to provide assistance to an individual with a disability. If they meet this definition, animals are considered service animals under the ADA regardless of whether they have been licensed or certified by a state or local government.”
Under the law, a bus driver can not even ask if an animal brought on board is a service animal, and since there is no registration required, there is nothing to stop a person from lying about it.
Now don’t get me wrong, I feel bad for the woman having her pet killed. I would not wish that on anyone, but calling a Pomeranian a service dog just so you can take it everywhere you go is a slap in the face to those with legitimate handicaps who use service animals to live their day to day lives.
Now, if you will excuse me, my goldfish and I have to hop a bus. Of course it’s a service animal, I have a note from my doctor right here.
I have contacted the Atheist Campaign in London to see if they would let me use their slogan and have sent the following email to Lamar Media, who handles our local mass transit authorities advertising;
Would Tri Met accept advertising with the following slogan;
“Is their a God? Probably not, so stop worrying and enjoy your life.
This PSA brought to you by Theangryjew.com”
If it would be acceptable, I would like to discuss rates for advertising on buses and Max trains.
Respectfully
The Angry Jew
I will let you know what I get back.
A humanist group in The United Kingdom is raising money to plaster this message on buses, billboards and trains across the country. To date, the group has raised $176057.25 and is going full speed ahead with their plans.
It left me wondering, could a similar group with a similar message get it’s message out here in the good old US of A.
Probably not.
Not that I have an opinion one way or another. As I have said in this forum, I am Jewish by birth, agnostic by choice, so I am more inclined to agree, in principle, with the groups message then most. I strongly agree, however, with the groups right to put their message out there.
It might be fun to try something similar right here in good old Portland, Oregon.
We are a free thinking, progressive state, I am sure no one would object to strenuously to us agnostics sharing our beliefs?
Does anyone out their know anything about setting up a non- profit organization to collect donations for this worthy cause?
Yup, I am not making this. This was the headline of an Associated Press piece I found this morning while reviewing the news for story possibilities.
Well what can I say except;
NO SHIT SHERLOCK
It boggles my mind that someone actually paid The Conference Board for this insightful analysis of our economy. Hell, I could have told America that. Wait a minute, I have been telling America that.
Wheres my check?
Lets see now, unemployment is at an all time high, the only consumer price that is down is gas, and that is going to go back up as soon as OPEC gets around to closing the tap a bit more, housing starts are still in the cellar, the stock market has not held onto a gain for more then 24 hours, the government is now talking about bailing out the auto industry, businesses large and small are barely keeping their heads above water…
Could the polls be wrong? Is Obama’s lead just a politically correct myth?
That is a theory being batted around by political theorists.
Called “The Bradley Effect” the theory postulates that Americans are just a big bunch of closet racists who will voice their support for a minority candidate to pollsters but do just the opposite when alone in the voting booth.
The theory is based on the narrow loss of former Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley, an African American, in the 1982 California governors race to Republican George Deukmajian despite pre-election polls showing him having a commanding lead.
Have we as a nation changed since 1982?
Well, the talking heads can’t seem to agree and to be frank, their has not a been an election this contested since, so America, we just have nothing to go on when trying to guess if you are telling the pollsters the truth.
What scares me more is how a surprise loss will be accepted by America.
Having lived on the outskirts of South Central Los Angeles during the Rodney King riots, the possibility of civil unrest on a national scale scares the crap out of me. I am sure law enforcement agencies across the country are dusting off their contingency plans and I am sure they will be just as effective as The LAPD was in the opening hours of the 1992 riots.
Is this what lays ahead for our nation if Obama suffers a catastrophic defeat at the polls next Tuesday?
As usual, I have no answers, only more questions.
I can only hope, that no matter the outcome of the election, that we have grown up as nation in the past 15 years.
Well friends, the date is set. On November 7th I will be having the surgery to repair my shoulder joint, so if I fall off the net for a few days you will know why.
I still have a few openings left for guest rants, so please email me if you have any interest in writing for the page in my absence. With the election only three days old, I am sure that many of you will have a lot to say, please feel free to consider The Angry Jew as YOUR forum to speak your mind.
I have to admit to you all, I am a little scared of the whole thing. Dr Doogies medical assistant has given me a briefing on what to expect and it is not good. I have to go in this week to get fitted for a sling and to pick up the prescriptions for my post surgical pain meds. According to her, most of the patients having had this surgery report post operative pain at a rank of 7 to 10 out of10. Needless to say, I am getting Oxycontin and Vicadin to get me through but still, 7 out of ten,
YIKES
I guess what makes this more scary for me is the fact that I have never had to go through something like this while on my own before, there has always been a girlfriend/wife to take care of me.
This time I will be gutting it out solo, and although many friends have offered their time and support, it’s of little help when you are wide awake at three in the morning in agony.
That’s the time when even the strongest man wants a good woman at his side to baby and pamper him. Or a bad woman for that manner.
Well such is life.
Until the surgery I will be writing every day, and may even put a few in the bank to put up while I am recovering.
