The Angry Jew

The rantings of an Angry Jew in The Pacific Northwest

So, without further ado, a few words from Republican Presidential Candidate John McCane.

Along with a recent drop in oil prices came news this week that the high price of crude might be in fact the product of unscrupulous investors attempting to manipulate the markets.

Ya Think?

Commodities watchdog , The Commodity Futures Trading Commission, are opening the investigations, which they believe, will show nothing.  Most economists believe that the high price of oil is a simple case of tight supply and high demand.  With gas prices reaching $4.00 a gallon here in The U.S. and as high as $9.00 a gallon in France, you have to wonder.

Lets face it, whether you believe in the conspiracy theories or not, the only people who seem immune to rising prices are the oil companies.  While all other sectors of the economy are taking huge hits across the board, they seem to be doing just fine.

So, is this simply the death throes of our petroleum based economy or an artificially created crisis brought about to enhance the profits?

I don’t care which side you fall on, the fact is that they will continue to get rich and the rest of us will pay for it.

All you have to do is look at the current trends.  Consumer usage of gasoline is down, The price of oil dropped, and yet the price of gas has increased for the last 23 days straight.  Now it is true that the price of gasoline has not kept pace with the price oil, who is kidding who here?

I guess we will just have to see if the drop in demand has any effect on oil company profits for the second quarter.  I am no economist, but I have the feeling it won’t.

Part of getting out of one of my funks is to get myself out of the house so I decided last night to treat myself to dinner out.  What I found as I wandered Hillsboro was a dream come true.  Yes Virginia, there is quality Filipino food in Portland!!!!

My love affair with Filipino cooking goes back to my navy days, when Subic Bay was my carriers 2nd home.  We would stop there at the beginning and end of each cruise.  Once I got a taste of REAL Filipino cooking, there was no stopping me.  I was hooked.  Adobo, Caldereta, Ox Tails, I just couldn’t get enough.

I was able to feed my addiction on my return to Los Angeles, where there is a large Filipino population.  Then came my move to Montana and then a year later, Portland.  Here in the Rose City,  I had a neighbor who was Filipina, and every once in a while she would treat me to some of her Lumpia, a Filipino take on egg rolls, and that would quiet my cravings for a bit, but I still could not locate the delicacies that I craved.

Until last night.

Quit by accident, I stumbled across J.P. Cuisine, a take out/catering place located in a strip mall on Tualatin Valley Highway in Hillsboro and Jocelyn, the owner/chef who made her dream a reality.

Until a few months ago, this lovely lady was an engineer a Portland electronics company.  With the support of her husband and two children, she set out to bring Filipino food to the masses and I have to say, she excels at it.

When I walked in the door, I was greeted warmly and before I could look over the menu, she began offering me samples of what was cooking.  I was as surprising yet wholly unnecessary gesture.  My eyes had already located what my stomach craved.

I ordered the Pork Adobo with Pancit , a Filipino Chow Mein made of noodles and vegetables.  To round out my meal, I ordered my beloved Lumpia and a can of Pepsi to wash it down.  She packed it in foam containers in no time flat, but there was no way I was going to be able to make it home.  I availed myself of one of the two tables she has available and dug right in.

The Adobo had just the right amount of spice and was falling apart tender.  The Pancit noodles were great with the veggies crisp/tender.  A wedge of lime to squeeze over it would have transported me back to the streets of Olongapo City, but I was not going to quibble.

I saved the best for last.  The Lumpia.  Stuffed with veggies and fried crispy, but not greasy, absolute perfection.  They were served with a side of sweet and sour, which was great, but I would have given anything for a bottle of banana sauce to go with them.  (Think of a sweet Ketchup, its a Filipino condiment that is an acquired taste.)

By the time I finished the last bite I was stuffed and happy.

You can tell by talking to her that Jocelyn is passionate about her cooking, and her large, well appointed kitchen stands ready to fill large catering orders.

Prices are incredible, with an order of Pancit and 2 entree’s  a meager $5.50.  Toss in a 3 piece order of Lumpia, you are looking at $2.99 more.  Hell, you can spend less then that at Burger King and not eat half as well.  A 25 piece party platter of Lumpia will run you $23.50 and $25.00 will get you a half size platter of pancit, more then enough to feed a good size crew.

Just remember that catering orders do require 1 days notice.

I just can’t say enough good things about J.P. Cuisine.  If you love Filipino food or are just looking for something different, you have got to try this place.  Tell Jocelyn The Angry Jew sent you.

J.P. Cuisine is located at 1895 SE Tualatin Valley Highway in The Crimson Corner Mall.  Hours are from 10:30 am to 8:30 pm Wednesday through Friday; 4:00pm to 8:30pm Saturday; 11:00 am to 8:00pm Sunday.  Delivery available for 5 or more orders.

(503) 681-9738

For sending me a laugh when I needed it most.  After reading this, I don’t think it will be possible to ever have a bad day at work again.  Enjoy.

This is even funnier when you realize it’s real! Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy:

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an
E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say, she won!

Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you’ve been feeling down lately at work, so I
thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it’s not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must
bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It’s a wet suit. This
time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I’ve used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It’s like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch…

So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don’t have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn’t stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn’t poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut.

So, next time you’re having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.

Now repeat to yourself,

‘I love my job,
I love my job,
I love my job,
I love my job.’
Now whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?
May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day!!!!!

See what I mean.  Now all I need is a jellyfish and a way to get my coworker into a wet suit.

These are the words that Winston Churchill used to describe depression.

I am not talking about having an “off” day,  being sad or having “the blues”.  I am speaking of clinical depression, something I have been struggling with for almost a year now.

The funny thing is, it is the one thing I have had the most trouble writing about.  You would think it would be easy.  I am not shy about it.  My closest friends all know, and have supported me through out my struggles.  My employer and coworkers know, they have had to bear the brunt of my absences from work.  Depression and heavy machinery are not a very good mix.  I have spoken about it here, so all my regular readers know.

It’s a strange disease.  It comes to the forefront when I am under a large amount of stress, or when I am not doing my self care, or sometimes out of the blue, without warning.  It makes it difficult to maintain friendships, I can pretty much forget about having any kind of serious relationship, and some days, when the Black Dog is at his darkest, it is a struggle just to stay alive.

I have tried to describe it to people, friends, coworkers and doctors.  The closest I have been able to come to describing it is a complete absence of hope.  Hope for a future, a better life, a relationship, a day where the sun is not the enemy.

This latest cycle has been going on for 5 or 6 days now.  I should have seen it coming.  A heavy schedule at work, a couple of thirteen hour days, followed by my usual 10.  Friction with a coworker, issues that became so bad, I was forced to go to management in an attempt to have them moderate a solution.  No time for my self care.   Meditation, good sleep, proper meals, social interaction and exercise, the keys, at least for me, to keeping the Black Dog at bay.

All of these factors combine to drag me down the emotional whirlpool to where the Black Dog makes his den. Medication doses get missed, a long weekend where sleep is elusive and support is unavailable. The friction at work worsens after an acrimonious meeting between myself, my coworker and management.  A meeting where I was left with the impression that there will, in fact, be no end to the problem, an absence of hope.  The long descent into a hell that exists solely in my mind.

I isolate myself, spend time in dark rooms with the blinds drawn.  Pace my apartment like a caged animal.  I drink too much, think to much, let my thoughts wander dark corridors that lead to even darker places.  Places I dare not go.  Thoughts ricochet around my head like angry bees.  Black thoughts, thoughts of ending this long fight, embracing the darkness, ending the pain.  I know I have to fight, I know how to fight, I have been training myself for a year now.

What I lack is strength.  The struggle grows more and more exhausting with each bout.  Like a boxer in his final round, against the ropes, searching deep within for that last bit of strength to keep himself off the mat.

It is a simple question.  Darkness or light.  Hope or misery.  Life or death.

The answer is harder.

Like the boxer, I must reach down deep to find that spark that will get me through this round and make me strong enough for the next fight.  I can not and will not surrender myself to the Black Dog, I will not allow him to gnaw on my bones.

I write this as part of that process.  I do not want sympathy, I do not need your help.  There is nothing anyone can “do” for me.  These are things I must do for myself.

If these words give you a better understanding of my struggle, so be it.  It was not my intention to do so.

By putting these words out there, it forces me to look in the mirror.  To face the reality of what I have allowed my life to become, and to start the long road back to a place where the Black Dog can not sink his teeth into me.

I will not get there sitting here, this is only a small piece of the puzzle.  I must open the blinds, venture out and take those first faltering steps back into the sunshine that should be my life.

The life that I am entitled to.

Food Network Hottie Rachel Ray a terrorist sympathizer?

Ultra-conservative Fox News commentator Michelle Malkin thought so, and apparently this was enough to cause Canton, Ohio based Dunkin Donuts to yank an ad featuring Ray wearing a scarf that looks similar to an Arab keffiyeh.

‘‘The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad,’’ Malkin yowls in her syndicated column.

‘‘Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant and not-so-ignorant fashion designers, celebrities, and left-wing icons.’’

Well, I guess we really have reached the point where there is literally nothing left to complain about.   I am no fashion expert, hell, since The Young Russian and I parted ways last year, I have been afraid to do my own clothes shopping,  but what she is wearing looks like a scarf to me, not some symbol that Rachael is about to declare a jihad on a glazed jelly donut.

Get a life Michelle, surely there has to be another way to get ratings.

Dunkin Donuts has pulled the ad, fearing a boycott, in yet another sign of corporate appeasement to the type of extremism Michelle and her ilk claim to oppose.

Uh, by the way Michelle, if this was a traditional MALE garb, as you claim, don’t you think Muslim groups would have gotten THEIR balls in an uproar about a FEMALE wearing it as a fashion accessory?

Just a thought.

It’s a fair question.  How much do you earn a year?

Can you answer it?  No need to be specific, just a ballpark figure will do.

Would you be surprised to learn that 2 of these guys didn’t know.

Why should they, after all, they are only the executives in charge of the 5 top earning oil companies in the United States.

While appearing before Congress last week to explain why they are still making ungodly amounts of money while you and I struggle to put enough gas in our tanks to get to our jobs, 2 of them told Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy  they had no idea what their annual compensation was.

It was the second time this year that the executives of Exxon Mobil Corp., Chevron Corp., BP America Inc., ConocoPhillips Co. and Shell Oil Co. have been summoned to testify before Congress.   It’s $12.5 million in total compensation, said Simon, the Exxon executive.

John Lowe, executive vice president of ConocoPhillips Co., said he didn’t recall his total compensations, nor did Peter Robertson, vice chairman of Chevron Corp. Hofmeister said his was “about $2.2 million” and not among the top five salaries at his company’s international parent. Robert Malone, chairman of BP America Inc., put his “in excess of $2 million.”

It must be nice to make enough so that you don’t even have to keep track.

If there is a God, I will have a fan who attended the Saint Paul Saints baseball game on Sunday and wants to give me a present.

The first 2,500 fans who attended the minor league teams Sunday game received a rather unique gift. A Larry Craig “Bobblefoot”.

Thats right friends, the team, showing an incredible sense of humor, created the promotion to honor National Tap Dance Day. Quoting the teams Official Website;

“ On Sunday, May 25 the first 2500 fans through the gates at Midway Stadium will receive a Saints bobble foot in honor of National Tap Dance Day and in tribute to all their toe-tapping friends and fans from around the nation who may ever have set foot in Minneapolis-St. Paul… even for just a change of planes. The one-of-a-kind collector’s item depicts a restroom stall and a bobble foot peaking out from underneath. “

If anyone knows where I can pick one of these up, please contact me by email 

Is there anything more American than Budweiser?

Is it not, along with McDonald’s, apple pie and baseball, a symbol of our nation? Granted, it is not a very good beer by my standards, it would not even be my first choice if I was broke and had to give up my Portland Micro Brews. Yet, it still stands as a symbol of America around the world.

Well friends, this American standard may be headed overseas. Belgium brewing giant InBev is reportedly working on a $45 Billion dollar deal that would buy out the St Louis based beer maker.

InBev may approach Anheuser-Busch Chief Executive Officer August Busch IV with a $46 billion offer, and it may make a subsequent appeal to the U.S. company’s board, the Financial Times blog said. InBev might go directly to shareholders should management and directors reject the $65-a-share bid.

Now, not that I have anything against Belgium, I mean they have given the world…uhhh…hmmm…thick waffles and of course it is the birthplace of Dr Evil, but Budweiser? Come on.

I can only hope that the board and stockholders of Anheuser Bush will be able to put their greed in check and fight this foreign takeover.  I am all for a global economy, but some things need to stay here in America, don’t you think ?

My Buddy Brandon over at bbqPDX.com has payed me a great compliment….sort of.

He has linked my BBQ recipes and tips to his website.  This is a great honor for me, as I have to tell you, I am a rank amateur cooker compared to him.  He is able to achieve levels of flavors in his product that I have only now begun to experiment with.   I feel honored to be a small part of his site.

But I had to pay a small price for this honor.  Each of my recipes carry the following disclaimer on his website.

* The opinions and views expressed on the AJ site are strictly those of the AJ and not necessarily those of bbqPDX and it’s affiliates. Though it is good reading no matter what your political view may be. *

On the email he sent to his readers, this little beauty appears.

 A great friend of mine and fellow bbq enthusiast
has allowed me to link his recipes to the bbqPDX site!

 Please pay mind to the custom disclaimer that I’ve provided above the recipe links.
Personally I love reading about other peoples opinions on political subject matter, but for people that find the first amendment offensive, stray from the recipe linked at your own risk.

Ahhh…the price of fame.