I am the type of person who is always open to the opinions of others, even if I think most of them are wrong. So, when I wrote my story about firefighters being trained to gather intelligence by the Federal Government, I wanted to see what other folks thought about the idea. I sent a copy of the posting to:
Portland Mayor Tom Potter
Head of The Oregon Department Of Homeland Security
Representative David Wu
Portland Fire Chief Dave Sprando
As of today, I have only received one response, from the office of Mayor Potter and I am, of course, going to follow his advice. It reads:
Dear Mr. Angry Jew: (Real name removed by author)
Thank you for your email regarding Portland Fire and Rescue (PF&R). I
am
responding on Mayor Potter's behalf.
I am not aware of PF&R participating in the program you describe;
however,
Commissioner Erik Sten (not Mayor Potter) oversees PF&R. I encourage
you to
email his office at erik@ci.portland.or.us.
Sincerely,
Jeremy Van Keuren
Public Advocate
Office of Mayor Potter
503-823-4125
You know, I have a fairly simple morning routine. Get up, put on my robe, grab the paper, and then read the front page while doing my morning “business”.
I thought I had my story when I got below the fold. now, to get a story pre-caffeine is rare for me. To have the story change 180 degrees after 1 minute on-line, rarer still. To be able to tie the whole thing back to how it impacts me personally, rarest of them all. Well hell, it has been a weird freaking week.
The headline of the story read “FBI expands file of of mentally ill after school shootings”. OK, no surprise there. Kind of saw that one coming. Seung-Hui Cho, The Virginia Tech shooter, was able to buy the guns he used in his rampage legally, because West Virginia did not contribute mental health information to the FBI database used to conduct background checks for firearms purchases.
It was the second paragraph of the story that blew me away.
“Justice officials said the F.B.I’s “Mental Defective File” has ballooned from 175,000 names in June to to nearly 400,000…”
Mental Defective File?
MENTAL DEFECTIVE FILE????
Whoa. Are we allowed to call crazy people mental defectives anymore? I only ask because, you see, I am one. Thats right friends, seven months ago I was diagnosed with Severe Depression and P.T.S.D . I tried to take my own life, spent two weeks in an intensive out patient therapy program, and to this day, I am still having trouble adjusting to life with this problem. I miss work, go into deep funks and at times, just can’t see the point in going on another day. I’m getting better, slower then I would like, and making minor victories here and there, and for the most part, I am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
That is not what this story about. As soon as I read it, I could just see mental health advocates across the country sharpening their pitchforks and preparing their torches. I had to know where this quote came from. Was it our newly installed Attorney General, Michael Mukassey, sticking his genitals into the meat grinder? Was it a goof by the LA TIMES-WASHINGTON POST reporter, Dan Eggen?
Hmmm. Well then, if the F.B.I. is using it, it must be OK, right? I mean, I have been describing myself a nuttier then squirrel shit since my melt down. What is in a name anyway?
Keep your eye on The Editorial Page, I think we are going to be hearing more about this one.
It looks like the Clinton campaign is going to take another hit this week. It would be funnier if it was not such an important issue to me personally.
It all started during this weeks CNN/YouTube debate. Retired Brig. General Keith Kerr, US Army, submitted this question for the Republican candidates to chew on:
I liked the question. I have my own views on gays serving in the military. It is simply this. If a homosexual man or woman can serve their nation without causing a disruption to good order and discipline, without special accommodation’s, and to do the job they are assigned, I really don’t care who they are sleeping with or involved with off duty. So I guess I agree with General Kerr.Listen, when I did my time, the first women were being assigned to combat assignments. Now, there were none assigned to my Squadron, but I got to work with a few of them while on T.A.D. (Temporary Assigned Duty) assignments with other units. Most were pretty good at the job, but a few needed way to much help, requiring assistance on jobs that were traditionally done by one person. These are the ones who should have gotten the boot. The same with gay servicemen and women. If someone is willing to put on the uniform and do the job, they have my respect. They should be subject to the same rules governing behavior between male and female servicemen…the ones that are routinely ignored, and subject to the same penalties for getting caught. There is also the added bonus that a gay service member can not get pregnant to avoid deployment, something that always pissed me off.
So I was happy watching the Republicans squirm on the question, that is until I found out that General Kerr was a ringer. Thats right friends. General Kerr is a member of Clinton’s steering committee on gay and lesbian issues, something her campaign disclosed in a press release back in June.
CNN says it did it’s best to vet the questions submitted through YouTube, but the fact that Kerr was working for Clinton must have slipped through the cracks. The Clinton camp and General Kerr himself are saying that he was asking the question as a private citizen and not on behalf of Hillary’s campaign. RIGHT!!!!
Exciting news from Angry Jew World Domination Headquarters. JewWop Productions is pleased to announce that “Uncommon Sense”, a podcast featuring myself, The Secret Alien and The Happy Atheist is now in pre-pre-production. What that means is we have most of the software that we need and are pricing the hardware. I have also revamped the “Who is The Angry Jew” page. Stay tuned. Updates will be posted as the situation progresses
“Losing a crotch is supposed to happen sometime after a Thanksgiving meal, not in combat.”
Loren Thompson, a military analyst at the Lexington Institute, a defense think tank, speaking on Army’s ongoing problem with the inseam ripping out of newly issued combat uniforms.
King George is beating the war drums again following Iran’s successful test of a missile capable of hitting Israel and American bases in the Middle East. This test follows successful tests of a nuclear capable ICBM and of a missile launched torpedo that can hit a and destroy a warship from over a thousand miles away. Pretty scary stuff.
Should be scared of Iran, or any rouge nation for that matter developing nuclear weapons. Hell no. We have a few toys of our own, you know. Lets look at the numbers, shall we.
We currently have eight Ohio Class Ballistic Missile Submarines in the Pacific Fleet. Each carries 24 Trident II D-5 missiles that can be fired from 4000 miles away with an accuracy of 120 meters from its intended target. Now each missile carries 8 W-88 300 kiloton warheads, each of which can be programed to hit an individual target. So, one sub parked 4000 miles away from Iran can deliver 192 warheads with a combined punch of over 56,000 thousand kilotons.
Now one warhead can completely destroy an area of about 50 square miles… so we would be capable, with one sub mind you, of leveling an area of 2, 880,000 square miles.
Iran is only 640,000 square miles large.
No, I am not saying we should launch a nuclear strike on Iran.
What I am saying is maybe there is a better way of keeping countries like Iran in check then sending in the troops.
The doctrine of MAD (Mutually Assured Destruction) kept us and the Soviets from having a nuclear slug fest during the cold war. Simply put, both sides knew that if one side launched, everyone loses. I say, it is time to put it back to work.
I wonder what would happen if The United States announced it would take no action against any country that developed Nuclear Weapons. We will just quietly sit back and watch. The United Nations will simply collect samples of nuclear materials produced by each country. We don’t want to know anything about your bombs, we just want a sample of what is coming out of your reactors.
If someone, Israel, Iran, India, Pakistan, anybody, pops off one of their shiny new toys, we will be able to trace it back to its source, and well, god help them if we do. This doctrine would not only provide incentive for countries to keep a real close eye on their nuclear material, but it might even lead the populations of these nations to pressure their governments to stay out of the nuclear arms race entirely.
Remember, the only way to win, is to not play the game.
Rich, older, white women are flocking to Africa in search of a good time, and grandma I say, go for it. I get kind of oogie when I read about male pedophiles flocking to Asia and Africa in search of there prey. Apparently, these fifty and sixty something women are giving the local 20 year old African guys a turn.
Now it was a little scary to read that most of the women interviewed for the story found the use of condoms a little too “business like” for their fantasies, which is pretty horrific considering Kenya has an HIV infection rate of around 6.9%.
Listen, who is getting hurt. The men get to live like kings while they are with the ladies, the ladies get to live out their Mandingo fantasy, bars and hotels make money, everybody is happy.
Back in January I wrote a piece outlining an involuntary medical experiment being conducted on the citizens of Portland, Oregon. What? Oh for crying out loud.
Fine. Here it is. The rest of us will just wait for you to get caught up.
Ready? Good.
Well so far, 98 victims volunteers have entered into this experiment. As you may recall it involves giving trauma victims an experimental hypertonic solution which contains more salt then regular saline or even blood for that matter. It is administered in a double blind manner, so that even EMS responders do not know if a patient is receiving regular or hypertonic saline.
The only way to avoid being a participant in the study, other then being under 15 or pregnant, is to send your name and address to roc@ohsu.edu and they will send you a medic alert bracelet that will guarantee you receive standard treatment.
Meanwhile, I want to know what happened to the 98 poor souls who have already received the treatment. Are they alive? Are they in a government lab after developing super powers?
I must be more of a prophet then I thought, because yesterday The Secret Alien and I were in the midst of some discussion or the other and he posed the question “What, you think we should take away Tribal Gaming from the Indians?” Now, I can’t tell you how we got on the topic, conversation with us is more of a free form train wreck then an organized debate of idea’s and theories. Anyway, my response was that it does not matter, because tribal gambling is a multi billion dollar a year business and yet most of the tribes still live in abject poverty. It is, like most American business, the same old story. A few at the top get rich and the rest get fucked.
Well today I peek in the paper and see that the heads of Tribal gaming for The Seminole Nation in Florida are being investigated for misuse of profits from the nations gambling ventures.
Now each of the nations 3,400 members receive a payment of around $120,000 annually, their share of the proceeds, but since 2000, Tribal council members have spent more then 280 MILLION DOLLARS on themselves. The money came from a discretionary fund and went to such needed improvements as travel, lavish homes, luxury cars, boxing rings, basketball courts, and vital cosmetic surgery. Needless to say, this type of spending violates Federal law and the council is being investigated.
Now I am sure that this is not the fault of these noble native Americans, but instead just another example of the corruptive influence of the white man.
Whatever…Power corrupts, regardless of skin color.
I had an interesting experience over the holiday weekend that I thought I would share. I finally have a piece of technology that is current.
Now, I am by no means a technophobe, but I always seem to be about a year behind. I try to tell people that I just like to wait for the manufacturers to get the bugs out, but truth be told, I dont understand half the crap that is out there. So I have my two year old cell phone that does not take pictures, can’t connect to the web, hell I can’t even download ring tones, and I was happy with that.
I already have a computer, why does my phone have connect to the web. I have a TV and an MP3 player, why do I need my phone to play music and stream video. You see what I am saying, it is all just duplication of effort.
Well, I was in a major electronic chain store, lets call it Good Bye for lack of a better name, keeping a friend company while she shopped for a lap top. Since they are an agent for my cell carrier, I figured I would check and see if I was eligible for a phone upgrade.
As soon as I entered the department I was greeted by a young man named Loyal, yes that is his real name, and I asked if he could look up my account. He did in short order and to my surprise, yes I was eligible for a discount on a new phone.
Well, I decided, I have been a good boy of late, I deserve a little present. This statement by no means takes into account the 200 dollars I spent the following day on a shopping trip with The Secret Alien to get upgrades for my computer. Hey now, it’s a business expense, World Domination is not cheap and I needed more computing power to operate the orbital death ray. OK, so I needed more memory to run my F.E.A.R. game on my computer, but the principal is the same.
Anyway, I told Loyal I was putting myself in his hands and that I did not want to spend more then a hundred dollars.
Well Loyal started to spit out a stream of techno- babble that had me looking at him blankly and perhaps drooling a little as well.
Whoa, I told him.
Listen Loyal, I am 43 and about all I have used a phone for is to make calls, so you are going to have to explain this stuff to me in English.
Well, Loyal didn’t miss a beat and proceeded top lay it our for me in plain “old man” speak. He let me know my options, what I might need and what I probably wouldn’t and that he had a few phones that would fit my needs. First he showed me a CrackBerry clone made by Palm. Too many small buttons.
I could see just the hint of an exasperation creep through his smile, but to his credit, he did a great job of covering.
Then he slid it into my hand. It was small, but not too small. Black. A little thick, defiantly not one of those Razor phones. He explained it had a camera, camcorder, mp3 player, could connect to the net and oh yea, you could make phone calls with it too. Then with a deft motion of his hand, he made the sale. He did something and from the side of the phone a panel slid out with a real QWERTY keyboard. Now I’m not big on texting, because it makes me feel stupid trying to figure out how many times I have to hit 5 to get a K, but here I had a real keyboard. Sold. Got to have it. Gimmie, Gimmie, Gimmie.
I told him to find me a case for it and to ring it up. His face clouded for a second, and than he said he didn’t know if he had one that would fit my dream phone…
BECAUSE IT JUST CAME OUT A WEEK AGO.
My heart fell, a phone I liked, that I could make work, and only a week on the market. Well, no new phone for me. No way was that going to fit my meager budget. With dread I asked the hated question,
How Much?
He looked at the phone, then the print out of my account in his hands, then at me, and in a somber voice his said.
25 Dollars.
I stared. That must be for the case they didn’t have. I actually said, OK, but how much for the phone?
25 Dollars.
Well, as he rang it up and activated it for me, I couldn’t stop thanking him. We cracked jokes, had a laugh, and I turned him on to this site. Me and my new LG Rumor are very happy together and I am sure we will be for a long time.
Probably about six months, when it will be obsolete.
Loyal, and to the pretty young lady at the returns counter ( the case Loyal and I thought would fit didn’t) who takes care of the troops overseas and who’s name I have sadly forgotten, I thank you for a great shopping experience. I have never had that much fun shopping so near to Black Friday.
You have my best wishes for an enjoyable and psycho-customer free holiday season.
