A friend of mine tells the story about the time he offered a homeless guy twenty bucks for his pants.
I wish I was kidding, but if you knew him, you would believe it.
They guy was doing the sign at the freeway bit and he pulled up and asked the guy if he could use 20 bucks, the guy says yes, so he says, “Fine, sell me your pants.” Needless to say, the transaction was never completed.
While offensive to some, and humorous to others, the story serves to illustrate the point that everyone has a solution to homelessness in our city but none of them will work.
A few years back, Portland decided the best way to tackle the problem was to combine a day center for the homeless, public restrooms and a law making it a violation to sit or lay in a public right of way, aka sidewalk.
Well, the day center never happened, we now have a $100,000 loo and a judge just struck down the sit/lay law.
Now the last part I find funny.
You see, a suit was brought by homeless activists who thought the law was not fair. The judge agreed and struck down the law as unconstitutional.
Hurray for the homeless.
Except that now they will have to be charged with disturbing the peace, a misdemeanor punishable by 6 months in jail, instead of just getting a ticket. With thinking like this on the side of the homeless, it is no wonder we can not fix the problem.
It sure is a shame that we can fix the financial system with trillion dollar infusions of capitol, but we can not seem to open a a place out of the elements for people with no where else to go to gather.
I know money is tight, but we are talking about people here, real people.
I am not talking about the ones who are on the street because they do not want to conform to “the mans” rules. As far as I am concerned, we can throw all those fine folks on a bus and drop them off at the California boarder and then shoot them if they try to get back in.
Portland needs to come up with a way to provide shelter and low cost housing for those in need and who have the desire to improve their lot.
Did 33% of you really say you would trade 10% of your income to look ten years younger?
That is what a study by Sustainable Youth says.
Really?
Listen, speaking as a duly elected spokesperson for the male gender, I can say while we appreciate the gesture, most of us would rather have the cash.
Now before you start with the whole, “We don’t do it for YOU, we do it for ourselves” crap, allow me to point out one thing, when you boil it all down and strip away so called civilization, it is all about attracting a mate. We are, first and foremost mammals, and preening to attract a mate is what we do. Of course, in most of the animal kingdom, it is the male that preens, because, as we all know but few will admit, it is the female that is in control of any relationship.
To be perfectly crude…if you have the pussy, you have the power.
So with that in mind, why would you fork over 10% of your income to attract a mate?
Has civilization so stripped us of our most basic instincts that we refuse to even acknowledge them?
Ladies, if you want a man, just offer him a glimpse of paradise and he’s yours, because, that is the way nature “hard wired” us.
Just, and for God’s sake pay attention, stop asking us if those jeans make your ass look fat.
Some of us can not control what might come out of our mouths.
Some times I hesitate to write about the things that happen to me in my day to day life, because, frankly, if someone told ME the stories I have to tell, I might be inclined to be skeptical, but write I do.
Last Sunday, while I was having my good natured little disagreement with the management of my favorite family restaurant, a gentleman seated at a booth near the registers made the comment “You can always talk to me” as I was walking away to the rest room. He had a lap top on the table and papers strewn about.
Homosexual come on?
Insurance salesman trying to drum up business?
Well I stopped by his table after leaving the rest room.
It turned out even my twisted mind would not have guessed in a million years.
How about a therapist looking for clients.
He handed me a card printed on cheap stock with his name, number and the name of a questionable therapy group with offices in Forrest Grove and Tigard.
“I overheard your conversation with the girl at the counter…”
He let his statement hang.
…and based on this you have decided that I am in need of therapy?, I asked.
“Well…no…of course…but everyone needs someone to talk to sometime.”
OK, I went back to my homosexual come on theory.
“Is this how you usually build your practice?”
“Well…no…but…anyway…”
Let me give you some advice my friend…get yourself a better quality business card and I walked away.
Well I couldn’t let this one alone, so I decided to do some digging. I went to the website of the therapy center and it looks to be legitimate, hosting several therapists in various disciplines. I then checked with the Oregon State licensing board, and to my surprise, the gentleman in question is a licensed family therapist.
To my further surprise, there was a reprimand from the board on file for him.
His offense?
Apparently he allows his fundamentalist christian beliefs influence his counseling.
It is that time of the year friends, July, the month where we celebrate all things malted barley and hops. That’s right…It’s Craft Beer Month here in Oregon. So along with celebrating the aniversary of my birth, we shall also be celebrating at the two biggest beer festivals of the year here in the City of the Roses.
Myself, BBQ Brandon of BBQpdx.com fame and Liquor Store Grant are going to be attending on Sunday the 19th.
Then, the following weekend, is the Big Kahuna of Northwest Beer Festivals, The Oregon Brewers Festival, July 23-26. Now, the plan is to attend on Sunday the 26th, but, if the stars align and the Gods smile, along with my boss letting me start my vacation on Saturday 25th, that could change.
These are both no miss events for those who know and love beer, and those who are just getting started and want to learn about what is out there.
Drop me an email, or post a message in the comments or on Facebook if you are going to be joining us for either event.
I am a little miffed with the managment of the family resturaunt where I have my Sunday breakfast. They are having this contest and they have decided my answer was not correct.
Now, the sign says “Guess how many cereals are in the jar”
Well, there is obviously only one cereal in the jar, and it appears to be Fruit Loops.
They either need to change the sign or give me my pie, don’t you think?
When Sarah Palin, former VPCILF, announced last week that she was resigning her post as Alaska’s governor, speculation was that she was doing so to ramp up her bid for the Republican nomination in 2012. However, one Alaskan thinks the lipstick wearing pit bull of a soccer mom may have another reason for throwing in the towel.
It seems there are rumors flying around that our Sarah may be under federal investigation.
And those rumors are sending Sarah on another one of her anti media tizzy fits.
Speaking through her legal beagle, Sarah has threatened to sue Alaskan Blogger and Radio Personality Shannyn Moore for claiming as “fact” rumors that she in being looked at by the fed’s for embezzlement and “other criminal wrongdoing”.
When her attorney was asked why he singled out Moore, said it’s because she went on national television and talked about it. Moore was on with MSNBC’s David Shuster on Friday, the day Palin said she will resign.
“There is a scandal rumor here that there is a criminal investigation into some activities and that’s been rumored for about, I don’t know, probably six weeks or two months,” Moore told him.
Hmmm…looks like Moore used the word rumor twice. Where is the crime in that?
I heard that Sarah Palin is a stuck up little twat who thinks holding elected office in the least populated state in the union and blowing her shot at glory somehow gives her the right to not be talked about in the media. I also heard that adding the line “almost served most of a full term as Governor” above Mayor of a small town is not going to do her Presidential resume much good.
But, if her lawyers are reading this, I swear, they are just rumors.
I gave up on Rock and Roll after hearing this one.
The sad part is it’s got a pretty good beat…a good hook…but the lyrics…dear God in heaven…I do have to admit though…it is a great strip club song.
Admit it, even if you have never been to a strip club you can hear the deep bass voice of the club DJ in your head…
” That was the lovely Skanky…give it up for her fellas, she works for your tips only. Don’t forget to order our famous Hair Pie with your meal and get a free Clamidia Cooler Cocktail. Don’t forget, Thursday night is ladies night….bring in your hottie and maybe she can win 1st prize…but probably not otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Next up on the center stage….The lovely Staci….”
I have to wonder how many millions of my tax dollars The Defense department shelled out to the Institute of Medicine for this advice.
The non profit medical think tank told the DOD that they should proceed slowly on a proposed ban on smoking in all branches of our armed forces.
You think?
While I am sure this was a justified expenditure, it would seem to me that taking away cigarettes from the 32% of active duty service members who smoke, most of whom have access to and are trained to use automatic weapons, would be a bad idea.
While the DOD points to the extra health care costs for smoking service members, I can’t help but think it is a bad idea to mess with the few vices these guys and girls have left. Our combat troops are currently engaged in countries where alcohol is forbidden and the troops that are stateside can’t even get a drink unless they are over 21.
Now they want to take away their smokes too?
The Institute of Medicine recommends that the ban start in the military academies and then be allowed to proceed slowly, with service members receiving access to counseling and nicotine replacement therapy. In that manner we can make our troops healthier before we send them off to be killed and maimed.
